I am not your average college student. Average in age, that is. Now that I have dropped back into school (after a long break,) I find my memory being jogged by certain experiences that bring back old feelings about formal education:
I get nervous about impending tests; I worry about not doing assignments correctly; I am concerned about being late for class. Many of my old concerns from my grade school and high school days, however, seem gone for good. Really good. I do not worry about what I'm wearing. I am not bored; I don't resent and blow off my assignments; I don't worry if I'll make any friends.
I do not have to worry about bullies.
Bullies were a big theme for me for a short period of time in my early childhood. It felt interminable while I was going through it; I suffered intensely from unwanted mean-girl attention. The more I attempted to withdraw from their focus, the more they seemed to hunt me down. At home I was creative and confident; at school I was self-conscious, socially isolated, lonely and sad. By fifth grade I'd studied my tormentors, and figured out how to effectively defend myself. The bullies, or my sensitivity to them, dissipated.
Unlike most of my college classmates, I have children. I have watched them face their own school issues, which sadly have, at times, included bullies. This seems to be a somewhat common childhood experience, and I am wondering how people look back upon it as adults.
Have any of you ever experienced bullying? Were you a bully? Either way, how did you get over it?
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ReplyDeleteSorry for having to delete the last comment. I felt like I missed a major part of my answer because I was in a rush.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that your early childhood was affected by bullying. Bullying always seems to happen at a young age, it is just one of those things were kids want to find a high standing in the school. When they feel the power of being popular, they shun out what they are actually saying and how it is effecting the ones they are hurting. I have experienced bullying in this way, my bullies wanted to be at the top of that popularity pyramid.
I don't really know how I dealt with it. I just kind of let their immaturity catch up with mine and it almost seemed like it disappeared. I didn't really notice a significant time where the tables turned. I think the best solution is to find the friends that will always be by your side. Ones that will have your back, and have the same interests as you.